Self conflict

Distorted in a dreary place
Of an empty space along my veins
As cynical as any mind would conceive
Floating in a midst of a void
I never would have wished for
Not in this point of disdain

I could not fathom either
The depths of ignominy
And the ignorance of vision
Exhausted by contemplation
Of belongingness and blame
That I have not a rein for

I am jaded but without a cent
Been probing intensely to seek
A conscientious responsibility
And a deliberate crack
Of constant sanity and toil
Flowing directly, spontaneously.

Incessantly been on the temper
Not without harm to nobody
The fiercest of the fumes
Beyond the reach of the horizon
Shall build a carillon of fire
To reach the temple of illusion

When shall the ordeal end
Now that the thespians are in play
Yet the music out of tune
The light drifting apart but still
A swarm of rats are laughing
Intensely, lucid and remorseful.

Come and let the burden unfold
To its fullest dragon
While the comedy of denial is due
And the error of guilt sinking in
Heaven help me play
Consistent with your way.